EVERY Child is Born to Win – The Parent's role

What Makes A Winner?

Every parent wants their child to be a winner. Every school and college wants to show 100% results. But what truly makes a child a winner?

To answer this we need to know what the child is endowed with in the first place. It is scientifically proved that a new born baby can sense and experience its surroundings and environment exactly similar to a fully grown adult.

In the words of Swami Vivekananda, "A child teaches itself. The Knowledge comes out of its own nature. Parents, teachers and the society only need to help it to go forward in its own way. Loosen the soil a little; put a hedge round it. There your work stops. You cannot do anything else.”

Then what is precisely the role of the parents, teachers and the society at large? Do they have any significant role to play at all? It is true that every child is born with latent talents. But as the child grows, every person it interacts with, every situation it comes across, every word heard and sights seen creates an impact on it. The intense experiences create a conditioning that blankets the latent potentials. Here comes the responsibility of the parents to willfully search and nourish the child's innate qualities otherwise may go unnoticed. That, if not done, will be biggest injustice a parent can do to his or her own child.

Self-esteem- the key factor

If success is the fruit, self-esteem is the tree. When the self-esteem of a child is nurtured, it creates a positive self-image, which in turn leads to confidence and a 'Can Do' attitude. A healthy dose of self-esteem infuses in the child the ability to see him or her as valuable, competent, worthy of love and unique. After all, one those who respect themselves can truly respect others. "To love thy neighbor, thou need to love thyself".

A child’s self-esteem grows when he or she feels cared for and secure with his or her family. Words of appreciation should affirm your faith in the child’s abilities. This helps to maintain the view that to win is not to just succeed but to do a good job, which will give a sense of accomplishment.

Another important causative factor of success is the ability to deal with failure. It is more than important to teach the child that failure is only a temporary setback to success.

From a Parent’s Perspective

Parents are not only the care takers but also the first guru of their child.  The best inheritance a parent can give to his or her child is few minutes of their time every day.

To recognize a child’s potential one can follow these simple steps-

1. Watch out for what the child is comfortable in doing. For example, if a child is naturally strong and agile, fearless and athletic then if the parents encourage him or her in any sport it is bound to have positive results.

2. Listen to what interests a child or what he or she prefers to speak. For instance, if a child talks frequently about travel and adventures in a new place then these conversations can clue in a parent on the child’s innate enthusiasm to take trips to places. So, parents can facilitate learning while travelling and thus ensure the successful application of his or her interest to enhance the chances of success.

3. Listen to people who are near and dear. Sometimes, important clues can be deduced by talking to the persons who have an influence in a child’s life.  A grandparent, a teacher or even a friend can help to unlock what is in the child’s heart.

Once you have established what your child is good at, then it’s but natural for you to gently steer them in that direction.  It will be in the best interest of the child to create opportunities to explore and kindle their curiosity. For, curiosity is the mother of all discoveries and inventions.

It will be wise to encourage your child to pursue a range of interests If only you knew what his or her potentials are, that can come in the gamut of your child’s skill or interest.

Constructive criticism is an art that every parent should master.  If you ridicule your child or compare it with another, then you are breaking down its self-esteem.

Help the child to set their sights high. When they set targets for themselves, they will be motivated to do better and aim higher. Don’t be unduly worried about the progress charts; just ensure that your child is happy and consistent in what he or she is doing.
More importantly look at the child as a winner. For, as John Maxwell says-"A child sees himself only in the mirror of his parents' evaluation of himself." So, if the parent thinks that the child can, then in all probability, he or she will work unconsciously to develop that potential and the child too for his or her part will believe the parent’s trust in his or her capabilities and work towards it.

To win or to become successful is a journey and not a destination. Knowing this will bring down the stress levels of the endeavor and increase its interest levels as well. It is the means that justifies the end. How gratifying is the effort will determine how successful the child is going to be, which will again have an impact on his or her prospects to win. So, only an observant, a patient and an encouraging parent can nurture a winner!

About Children

Your Children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters for life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
But seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

- Kahlil Gibran